This year marks a huge milestone for our little family, because this is the year our first child, Seamus, should have turned five years old.

Seamus was a beautiful, healthy, normal baby boy. His pregnancy was full of the usual excitement, jitters and fluffy-cloud imaginings of any first time parents… Until a “desperately unlucky” umbilical cord accident took him from us at the very last moment… And our lives took a sharp twist from setting up a nursery and buying that essential car seat, to an impossibly silent delivery room… funeral planning… and clutching each other close to prop each other up.

It’s hard to explain what life has been like in those last five years. On the one hand, we are brimful of gratitude as we watch Hugo and Pia grow and learn, amaze and frustrate, explore and surprise, laugh and cry. These zesty little creatures never fail to winkle a smile out of us, however dog-tired, vomit-stained or patience-shredded we are!

But not a day goes by without feeling the loss of Seamus. No matter how beautiful the day, there is always someone missing – from our table, at bedtime, from every family photo. Some days, missing him can feel as overwhelming as it did in those early days – Christmas, anniversaries, seeing all his would-have-been friends starting school… other times it’s quieter, a tiny twinge, catching eyes across a room and knowing exactly what that barely-there tear is for.

Five years feels ….BIG. So, we wanted to mark this milestone by attempting something equally huge. We are aiming to raise a whopping £5,000 to be split between our chosen charities: Sands and Tommy’s.

The 5 for 5 Challenge is a registered event with both charities.